


Unsaid

by jumpitorloseit



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Harry Potter Next Generation, Not Actually Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-27 03:38:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17759057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jumpitorloseit/pseuds/jumpitorloseit
Summary: Lucy usually said nothing, except for this time she didn't.Lucy would later wonder if she had something sooner or not said anything at all, if they would still be friends. But in the end, Lucy had been brave, Lysander hadn't, and so they weren't.Lucy/Lysander (sort of)





	Unsaid

Lucy Weasley and Lysander Scamander were in Hufflepuff for a reason. They were both very nice, very silly, messpots of passivity and anxiety. They had once been friends. Very good friends. But stupid feelings got in the way and now they weren’t. Sometimes Lucy would wonder if maybe she had said something sooner, things would be different, but in the end, Lucy had been brave, Lysander hadn’t, and so they weren’t.  
  
They had gone on one date. It had happened Lucy’s fifth year, Lysander’s fourth. Despite both being Hufflepuff’s they hadn’t really crossed paths until both of them took a work study position in the library.  
  
Lucy loved flowers, butterscotch, Muggle reality television, gossip, and Potions. Lysander loved Quidditch, pumpkin juice, his violin, gossip, and Potions. They had hit it off immediately. Lysander asked Lucy to the first Hogsmeade trip of the year.  
  
The date had gone pretty well. They were fifteen and fourteen so it wasn’t true love, nor did it need to be. Lysander bought her sweets from Honeydukes and she bought him a Butterbeer from the Three Broomsticks, because gender roles be damned. They held hands and laughed a lot.  
  
Lysander had wanted to go on another, but Lucy thought he was too fun and too nice and didn’t want to lose a great friend because they had decided to date when they were too young and too naive and ruin what could be a great friendship. And so they were friends. Great friends for a very long time. They both dated other people. Although, Lucy was always a little jealous when she saw Lysander at the Three Broomsticks with other girls.   
  
After Hogwarts, Lucy went on to train to be a healer, specializing in the development of healing potions. A year later, Lysander followed suit. Lysander wanted to be a Mediwizard. They stayed very good friends.  
  
One night, at a party, Lysander, a little drunk had turned to Lucy and said, “you know, I had a pretty big crush on you while we were at Hogwarts.”  
  
Lucy smiled, “I had a crush on you too.” They clinked their drinks together and got swept into different conversations.  
  
Several hours later, Lysander turned to Lucy, “what about now?”  
  
“What about now?”  
  
“How do you feel about me now?”  
  
In true Lucy fashion, she gave a non answer and the night ended and they didn’t talk about it again. That night he went home with Katie Shacklebolt, so Lucy decided he hadn’t really meant anything when he asked about it.  
  
Although the question still remained in her thoughts for a long time, “what about now?”  
  
She supposed now, she did still like Lysander. She still liked Lysander very much. However, this conversation about feelings and crushes had happened a week after Lysander and his very long term girlfriend had broken it off and Lucy figured it wasn’t a great time to start something. Besides ‘I liked you when I was fourteen’ hardly indicated feelings remained and he had gone home with another girl. So she decided not to bring it up again.  
  
Several weeks later, Lucy was getting coffee with her cousin, Roxanne. Roxanne shared something with Lucy that hurt her heart in ways she hadn’t expected.  
  
“Lysander and I are going on a date tonight,” Roxi said bringing the coffee to her lips with a dazed look on her face, “I don’t know Lucy, I think there might be something really special between us.”

Lucy didn’t talk to Lysander about it. She didn’t know how or what she would say. She didn’t ask Roxi how the date went either. She assumed it went well. She saw them in the library together a lot after it. Lucy started to avoid the library.   
  
After several weeks, Lysander stopped Lucy on her way to class, “I feel like we haven’t talked in awhile. It’s not because what I talked to you about at the party, right? Because that--”   
  
Lucy squinted up at Lysander and interrupted him, “oh no, not at all. I’ve been busy and you’ve got a new girlfriend so I’m just trying to stay out of the way.”  
  
Lysander widened his eyes, “new girlfriend? What are you talking about?”  
  
“Roxanne. She said you went on a date.”  
  
“We got dinner, but I told her I didn’t feel that way about her,” Lysander said with a shrug, “we’re just not letting it get in the way of our friendship.”  
  
Lucy tried to not look too happy.  
  
Roxanne and Lucy met for their regular coffee date at three that afternoon, and Lucy approached the topic delicately. Roxanne broke into a soliloquy about how Lysander was sorting out feelings after his breakup and was still going to get back to Roxanne. This sounded different than what Lysander had told Lucy. “Lucy, I really like him.” Lucy’s heart clenched.

“Lysander, Roxi told me you didn’t really give her a clear answer,” Lucy said to Lysander as they studied in their favorite corner of the library. She felt cagey about sneaking around and asking these questions, but she had already decided that even if Lysander was decidedly single she wasn’t going to say anything to him about her feelings. She just wanted to know.  
  
“Look, I care about Roxanne deeply and very much don’t want to lose our friendship. But I don’t know why she’s confused about what I said. We’re friends and I don’t want to ruin that or our whole group dynamic, and it's sort of frustrating how she keeps pushing at it.”  
  
Lucy and Lysander made eye contact then and Lucy said nothing.  
  
However, something was shifting in Lucy and Lysander’s relationship Lucy couldn’t quite understand. At parties, study sessions, or just hanging out with their group of friends. Lysander and Lucy had begun flirting. Heavily. Touching, hugging, giggling, and whispering. Roxanne was picking up on it and would send them scathing looks, but nothing was coming of it. It didn’t seem to mean anything. It was just flirting no matter how heavy the flirting was. It went on for several very confusing months.  
  
One day, Lucy received an owl from Lysander’s brother, Lorcan, asking if she wanted to meet for a drink. This was confusing to Lucy, because while Lorcan and Lucy were well acquainted with one another and got on pretty well, they were by no means good friends and rarely hung outside of parties and group events, but she agreed regardless.  
  
“Lucy, I promise this isn’t why I asked you to come out tonight, but there is something I need to talk to you about,” Lorcan said, smiling at their waitress and buying two elderflower wines for himself and Lucy. Lucy didn’t really like wine, but didn’t want to seem rude. “I have a roommate who is thinking about asking you out, but isn’t sure about how receptive you will be to it. He’s sort of an anxiety ridden creature and doesn’t want to do or say anything that could possibly ruin your friendship.” Lucy rose an eyebrow, Lorcan’s only roommates were Lysander and Theo Wood. Theo was happily engaged.  
  
The waitress brought over their drinks and Lucy sipped at it, pointedly not making any eye contact with Lorcan, “I’d be very receptive.”  
  
Lorcan smiled, “as a third party, outside observer, it sure seems like you guys have been flirting for months.”  
  
“Feels that way as a first party inside observer as well,” Lucy grinned. Her insides were doing somersaults. She paused then, however, “I never wanted to say anything to him, because he was so put off by the whole Roxanne thing. I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.”  
  
Lorcan shook his head, “Lucy, you could never make Lysander feel uncomfortable.”  
  
She was nervous the next time she saw Lysander, but nothing seemed different. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t ask her out. Lucy wondered if maybe she should say something to him first, but she thought about Roxanne and how much Roxi had confided in her about Lysander and she felt sick to the stomach at the idea of asking him out. In terms of girlcode betrayal, she felt it would be different to agree to a date than to actively seek one out.  
  
So she waited. But he never said anything and they remained friends. One night, a drunk Hugo Weasley approached the two of them at a party, “I swear either you guys have the best bromance in all of history, or you’re shagging just all the time.”

Lysander and Lucy did not answer and did not make eye contact.  
  
Lucy not saying anything was starting to drive her friends crazy, “I don’t know why you just don’t tell him you like him. His brother literally told you it was reciprocated.”  
  
Lucy shook her head at Ophelia, “he told me weeks ago that Lysander was thinking about asking me out. That’s not indicative of any sort of true love or confirmation. It’s just thinking.”  
  
“You need to grow a pair and just do it. It can’t be any worse than this not knowing, at all, forever, can it?”  
  
Lucy said nothing.  
  
Roxi wasn’t backing off. She claimed she loved Lysander now, that she’d rather be alone forever than date anyone else. It was all rather overdramatic, but part of Lucy was envious of Roxi. That absolve that saying how she felt was the only way to get something done. Her relentless honesty was powerful. Lucy wished she could be more like that.  
  
One evening, Lucy, Roxi, and Ophelia went to the Leaky Cauldron for drinks. Locking lips near the front of the room was none other than Lysander and Poppy Nott. Lucy looked away immediately and tried to engage the group in some sort of positive conversation. Ophelia was looking at her, concern flooding her eyes, but Lucy resolutely refused to act affected. Lysander looked up his eyes floated over Roxi who was loudly sobbing and shouting obscenities at him and rested on Lucy. She smiled congenially. He smiled back. They said nothing.  
  
Lucy and Lysander sat next to each other in their favorite study spot in the library. Where they had met nearly every day during their time at the school, “what do you think of Poppy?”  
  
Lucy didn’t want to talk about this, “Nott’s nice enough. Are you together?”  
  
“I don’t know, sort of. That was just our second date.”  
  
“Oh.”  
  
“Roxanne was pretty mad.”   
  
Lucy squinted at Lysander, “yes, she was.”  
  
“Was anybody else as upset by it?”  
  
Lucy said nothing.

Lucy was tired of saying nothing. She felt as if Lysander was pushing at something in the library earlier in the day. Ophelia’s words were echoing in her brain, “it can’t be any worse than this not knowing, at all, forever, can it?” Can it? If Lysander started seriously dating Poppy, they could stay together. Genuinely be together. Perhaps Poppy and Lysander would get married someday. It wasn’t out of the question. Lysander and Lucy weren’t teenagers anymore, despite treating their relationship like a couple of naive, uncommunicative Hogwarts students and relationships were serious now.   
  
She grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill and began to write.

_Lysander,_

_I don’t want to make things more complicated for you and Poppy than it already is with the Roxi situation. Here’s a thing anyway. I have something for you that resembles feelings and while I’ve tried my hardest to ignore them, they keep returning. I realize our friendship is far more important than whatever is happening here, but perhaps it warrants a conversation? Sometimes you do or say things that indicate a reciprocation of these feelings and I’m tired of always being a passive messbag. I’m tired of not saying anything._

_I won’t push you on the matter, but there it is. If you really want to pursue this relationship with Nott, I will root for you all the way._

_Love,_

_Lucy._

She crossed out “love” and wrote “best.” She attached the letter to her owl’s leg and waited.   
  
 _Luce,_

_To answer your question: I don't know. And I know that's not helpful, but I also know that there is something between us as cliche as that is. But I think you know what I mean? I think it does warrant a conversation, and maybe an actual date, that we call a date, may help us to see if it's something worth pursuing? Does any of this sound helpful?_

_L_  
  
Lucy was so pleased, she almost cried. She sent back one more response.

_I think a date sounds great. And I know sometimes I'm awkward and bad at telling you how I feel, but I think if it is something worth pursuing we can move past that? And maybe we find out we're better as friends but I'd just really like to know whatever is going on for sure. And I know it's a really really sticky situation because of Roxanne but I want to figure it out because at least on my end of things I feel like we've been flirting for a long time._

_Luce._

She never heard back. The next day, she went to the library to their spot to study and Lysander wasn’t there. She did see him again later in the week and they acted as they always did. Friends, very good friends. It continued in that way for several more weeks, neither of them mentioning their exchange of letters. This limbo may have continued forever, except for Ophelia telling Lucy that she had heard Poppy refer to Lysander as her boyfriend.  
  
Lucy wasn’t surprised. She was hurt and mad, but not surprised. She wondered if she was embarrassed about telling Lysander how she felt. She decided she wasn’t, she also decided she wasn’t about to stop.  
  
Lucy apparated to Lysander’s flat and opened the door. Lorcan was sitting on the couch and Lysander was in the kitchen putting a kettle on the stove.  
  
“Lysander,” Lucy said. Her voice was smaller than she intended and she cleared her throat.  
  
He looked up and smiled congenially at her. Lucy did not smile back.   
  
“Listen, I’m not mad at you because we didn’t go on that date. I’m not even mad at you for dating Poppy.”  
  
His smile faded and he looked at Lorcan helplessly, “Lucy, I’m sorry. It’s not that I don’t have feelings for you. But I liked Poppy too, and everything about Poppy is less complicated. If Poppy and I break up, you and I are still friends. We won’t be hurting Roxi more than she already is. I mean Rox is your cousin,” He walked toward her with his arms outstretched as if he wanted to hug her.  
  
Lucy stepped back, “that’s all fine and good Lysander. But you owed it to me to say that to me. I didn’t need to find out that you and Poppy were dating through a third party. We’re friends, Lysander. Very good friends. We don’t have to be together, you don’t owe me that. But I do think you should value my agency and humanhood more than you have.” Lucy felt hot tears on her cheeks she hadn’t known were there, “hi Lorcan. It’s good seeing you.”  
  
He smiled, “you too, Lucy.”  
  
“I’m gonna go. I just wanted to say that. I’ll probably see you soon.” Lucy apparated away.  
  
Lorcan later told Lucy that Lysander was really sorry. Lucy wondered why Lysander couldn’t tell her that on his own. Ultimately, she figured it was probably a good thing they never got together. They clearly couldn’t communicate, which Lucy had heard was very important in relationships. Lucy knew she should let bygones be bygones and talk to him again, because as far as cruelties go, this one wasn’t very high. So she went to their study corner, but he never came back to study there. He hung out with Poppy’s friends a lot, but rarely came to Lucy’s groups of friends parties anymore. When he did, they didn’t talk very much even when Lucy tried to engage him in conversation. She wondered why. Just because she got mad, that doesn’t mean she didn’t want him in her life. He stayed friends with Roxanne after thousands of shouting matches about feelings and love.  
  
Sometimes Lucy felt bad for yelling at him. She wondered if they would be friends if she hadn’t. They probably would be, but Lucy decided that a friendship where she wasn’t allowed to say her feelings when he crossed a line wasn’t a particularly healthy friendship.  
  
Somehow through it all Lucy and Lorcan became better friends. Lucy asked Lorcan why Lysander was mad at her. “He’s not. He feels guilty. And he probably still loves you a little bit, but knows that he shouldn’t, especially while with Poppy. It’s easier to be with Poppy than to be with you, he likes Poppy a lot, but not on the same level. That’s a lot less risk.”  
  
Loved her? That surprised Lucy. She supposed Lysander wasn’t cut out for bravery like she was. Lucy didn’t regret yelling at him. Lucy felt something like pride. Lucy had been brave. Lucy, who never said anything, said something. She knew that someday he was going to wonder what could have been if he had done something different, but Lucy would never wonder. She had taken action, and he hadn’t. She didn’t think it was her fault Lysander and Lucy weren’t friends anymore. She decided it was his. Sometimes she missed his friendship terribly. Because they had been good friends. Very good friends. But in the end, Lucy had been brave, Lysander hadn’t, and so they weren’t.


End file.
